Mental Musings

We’re all infinitely everything and the space between us is merely imaginal and performative.

We’re all manifesting in pockets of thoughts in the multiplicity of possibilities. If a idea is ideal, is pleasurable…pick, focus and live THAT by dwelling in it.

I am all of the “data dump,” the cellular information that has been passed through generations of my forbears. I am the information code immensely more complex than the most recently designed and technologically advanced tools mankind has ever made. I am genetic memory, “experience code,” the record of procreated humans. Aligned or in an ineffable way attached to the lineage (although it’s not a traditional lineage because there is no solid time). I am experiencing ancestral legacy in sync with past ancestors and those with which I am a past ancestor.

I am not only a strong biological code. I AM is also ALL experiencing itself through it’s creation. I AM is experience incarnate. Thought is consciousness. Consciousness is ALL. I AM is the conception of all. I AM is the conceiver of all.

There isn’t spirit vs flesh. It’s that the spirit is the flesh, Just at a denser vibration. Our bodies are a form of consciousness too. Everything is. That’s how existence works. The mechanics of the universe is cooperation. Quantum. Creation interacting with itself because there is nothing but self. All of life is imaginary because the Imaginer conceives of it all.

We’re all pretending for ourselves. There is no separation. All is a play we entertain ourselves with. We are all 1.

Why don’t we publicly speak about how WILD and amazing it is that there exists ANYTHING at all? Existence is an anomaly, if approached from a purely physical perspective. Existence is futile, if approached from a purely spiritual perspective. A marriage between the two is needed to be effective in either.

Take your hands off

Breathing. It’s an action I can shift from automatic to manual. But when I consciously take control, it becomes a task, laborious and less efficient. When I take my “hands” off of it, when I resolve to trust that process which has always proven to work, I am operating a body which takes in oxygen at the exact rate in which this body needs.

Of course, I reserve the ability to increase or decrease the intake and output at any desired moment.

So, much like the process of inhalation and exhaling, is life & my desires.

Because I AM is God, whatever God wants, God receives. It’s an immutable fact unless of course, God wants to continue to want something. At which point God will never attain it because the act of wanting is more desirable than attainment.

In essence, desiring a thing is pleasant. The attainment of a thing desired is compounds the pleasure. The way to attainment is by allowing it to happen via desire then taking my hands off of it while moving confidently in the direction of it, being surrounded by my answer.

I’m a Professional At Crasting the Nation

Okay, so that title is stupid.

But I like it.

I figured I’d allow myself the freedom to write by not being OBLIGATED to find the perfect title, the most amazing topic or the ideal…anything.

I won’t be so hard on (giggidy) myself and just do. Often times I get so in my head about how I would look, how I might come off (giggidy) that I’d stop myself from doing a thing before I’d even start. I’ve had a ton…well maybe not a ton..more like pounds. I’d have pounds of ideas which I never initiated because I wanted to find a “more better” version or I couldn’t imagine being seen as someone who isn’t as polished as I envision myself to be.

F*@& that guy! I’m not perfect and I’m going to ‘fail’ a heap more times. What I put out there won’t be perfect. It won’t be the best I can EVER do. I am going to continue to grow, learn and outgrow what I’ve previously done. But the worst thing I can do is to not do anything at all.

So if you’re reading this, let’s make a pact! I will give you room to grow, mature and fail into the person who you wish to be and you do the same for me, yea?

<With the stipulation that we can’t be shitty on purpose. If either one of us sees that the other is content with being a shitty version of themselves with no active & comparable steps toward greatness…then pact retracted>

Blackmail

It’s 5 AM on a crisp Tuesday morning in Crawford, Georgia. I’ve resolved to get up before the sun in order to be more than what I was. I’ve known for some time now that I have a shit ton of more “can” in me.

I CAN be more personable in my interactions. I CAN be more consistent in my writings. I CAN be more of a creator (as opposed to just a consumer). I CAN be more present in my life.

During my bout with cancer, I told myself that when I get passed it, I would live more. That I would take more chances & stop hiding behind a veneer of “I’ve got time”. I bartered my creativity, my mind, the core of who I am; all in exchange for more opportunities to breathe this air, walk on this soil & experience this time.

In a sense, I bargained with God.

As a result, I feel obligated to do something worthwhile with these constant gifts of 24 hours.

According to the bargain I made/the jargon I’ve laid, the debt I paid is living creatively. A tit-for-tat, a this for that, not completely unlike blackmail. I’ll take these gifts of breath, wrap ’em in content & depth because constant monotonous nonsense is death. An extraordinary life is what’s next for this black male.

It all started…

Okay, everyone has an origin story. The villain has a reason why she/he creates chaos & the hero has a purpose for trying to maintain peace. The collection of thoughts & composites of creativity I deposit here will serve as somewhat of a reference point for future use.

Whether I am viewed as a hero, villain or something in-between…that’s not for me to judge. I just know, I won’t be average.

I’m not cut out for it

How I Beat Cancer's Ass…& Other Beat Downs